{"product_id":"every-step-is-closer-to-teh-couch","title":"Every step is closer to the couch","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLow Expectations. Excellent Sweatshirt.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eMade from 80% ring-spun cotton and 20% polyester because if you’re gonna move at sloth speed, you might as well be comfortable doing it. This sweatshirt brings a soft feel, a relaxed fit, and a substantial 9.5 oz fabric to your very loosely defined training routine. Perfect for chilly starts, suspiciously long warm-ups, and the coffee stop you’ve been calling your finish line.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eRibbed edges help keep things in shape, even when your workout schedule isn’t. A necktape and half-moon back neck patch add thoughtful finishing touches—because we take our sweatshirts more seriously than our split times.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWear it to jog. Wear it to consider jogging. Either way, you’re dressed for the occasion.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eThe Details (We Did the Work So You Don’t Have To)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e80% ring-spun cotton, 20% polyester:\u003c\/strong\u003e Soft comfort for people who consider getting out the door an endurance event.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMedium-heavy 9.5 oz\/yd² fabric:\u003c\/strong\u003e A substantial layer for cool mornings and extended snack breaks.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eRelaxed fit:\u003c\/strong\u003e Because your sweatshirt shouldn’t pressure you either.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eStretchable 1×1 ribbed collar, cuffs, and bottom hem:\u003c\/strong\u003e Helps your sweatshirt keep its shape while you take things at your own pace.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eNecktape and half-moon back neck patch:\u003c\/strong\u003e A little extra comfort and structure. 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We’re generous like that.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eMachine wash cold, maximum 30°C \/ 90°F.\u003c\/strong\u003e Hot water is for overachievers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eUse only non-chlorine bleach when needed.\u003c\/strong\u003e Keep the intensity out of the laundry room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eTumble dry on low heat.\u003c\/strong\u003e Your sweatshirt has no interest in a high-intensity session.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo not dry clean.\u003c\/strong\u003e No fancy training program required.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eDo not iron.\u003c\/strong\u003e Finally, an instruction that rewards doing less.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eShipping \u0026amp; Returns\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eGood Things Take Time (But Not Too Long)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping on orders over $85 because we reward commitment to the cause.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eOrders ship within 7 business days—we’re not rushing, you’re not rushing, nobody’s rushing. 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